Every newsroom has one; a voicemail where viewers can leave their story ideas. A blessing to newsroom employees who feel they are too busy to listen to someone ramble on for 10 minutes then say; "Oh, I don't want my face or name on TV". Well, that should be an interesting, faceless story.
The only people in the newsroom who hate the voicemail box are Assignment Mangers (me) and interns. We are the ones who have to go through them and listen. Interns are actually required to write down all their info and email it off to the higher-ups. So, feel sorry for them more than me. Plus the fact that they don't get paid.
But now I started a blog and I can share them with you. Talk about your low-hanging fruit. Let me rundown a list of recent messages:
"This is how the country can get out of the deficit; fine all those bastards who don't use their GOD DAM BLINKERS!!!"
This guy was pissed!! I'm guessing he just got cut off or almost rear-ended someone who didn't use their blinker. I like to put myself in the callers shoes: "Hey, that guy just cut me off...I'M CALLING THE F*CKING TV STATION TO LET THEM KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD!!!" Yea, that sounds like a great idea. I should mention, he sounded drunk. But, is that surprising? Next.
This message is a little more sensitive; "My son was beaten up in prison by a guard and I need some help!".
Really, what am I going to do about this? It isn't that I don't believe him, but these stories are next to impossible to do. First of all, not many people are going to feel sorry for inmates. When we go on TV with a story seeking sympathy for an inmate, it is just going to piss people off. Then I have to hear from them and that leads to more time wasted.
Secondly, I'm going to end up with second hand information against the word of the warden. I can already send you that quote. Let's move on to the next one.
"My mother lives on a dirt road and everytime it rains the road gets washed out. We need some help."
My response to these calls is not exactly politically correct; "then move off the dirt road!" I don't know how else to answer these calls. There are too many dirt roads in our viewing area and I think 80% of the people living on them want them paved...or fixed in some capacity. When you moved into the home I'm guessing the road wasn't paved. What made you think that was going to change?
I'll wrap this up with one that pops up on our voice mail once a month.
"This message is for _______ _____. Please have Mr. _________ call us back as soon as possible..."
A former employee has the creditors after him and he gave them the number to our voicemail. Smart move on his part.
Remember, whenever in doubt, call your local newsroom and I'm sure they can fix whatever your problem is.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Bullsh*t; one word or two?
Now let's take a look at some emails from our viewers (you have to say that in your TV anchor voice). This nice gentleman was not happy with our automated response that says we can't guarantee someone will be back in touch with him due to the large volume of emails we receive:
My first reaction to this email was a stern, right back at you "go f#*k yourself" email. I decided not to. That would probably come back to haunt me in future job reviews.
My Second reaction was to kill him with kindness. Say we are looking at his email, blah-blah-blah. I think I'll do that with an added "we received your email in response to our automated email and thank you for your passion. But sir, I do believe 'Bullshit', in which the way it is used in your email, is one word."
He has a decent idea for a story, but it involves DSS and foster kids and I'm telling you, those kinds of stories rarely pan out. There is way too much red tape. Regardless, when I get something like the email above I could care less about his problems.
This one is quick and to the point:
i would like to make a prediction of where the satelite is going to hit in north america what state and what time it is going to come down in the state of louisanna at around 4am est on sept 24th 2011
Like the internet, punctuation is a fad.
Since that satellite has crashed (not in Louisiana) I have been holding on to this email hoping to get the courage to send him something back. "How did that work out for you?" or "I've never heard of 'louisanna', is this a new country?" I think I'll just let it go.
Until next time, and there will be a next time, happy news viewing. Remember, if you don't know the answers to life's puzzling questions, just call your local TV station. They will know the answer.
Then what is the point of sending your station an email, if a response will not be received... You should be interested in what the public has to say is going on in this state and be willing to respond !!!!
This bull shit email response is just that.. Bull Shit.. Obviously do you do not care about the people in this state, if this is the response that you give..
If I was the management of your station, I would be ashamed to send this out to people, who are truly concerned about the State of South Carolina.....
If this is the way you feel... Go fuck yourself !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You do not care about the State of Carolina and the children that are in Foster Care in this state...
Disgustingly Yours,
My first reaction to this email was a stern, right back at you "go f#*k yourself" email. I decided not to. That would probably come back to haunt me in future job reviews.
My Second reaction was to kill him with kindness. Say we are looking at his email, blah-blah-blah. I think I'll do that with an added "we received your email in response to our automated email and thank you for your passion. But sir, I do believe 'Bullshit', in which the way it is used in your email, is one word."
He has a decent idea for a story, but it involves DSS and foster kids and I'm telling you, those kinds of stories rarely pan out. There is way too much red tape. Regardless, when I get something like the email above I could care less about his problems.
This one is quick and to the point:
i would like to make a prediction of where the satelite is going to hit in north america what state and what time it is going to come down in the state of louisanna at around 4am est on sept 24th 2011
Like the internet, punctuation is a fad.
Since that satellite has crashed (not in Louisiana) I have been holding on to this email hoping to get the courage to send him something back. "How did that work out for you?" or "I've never heard of 'louisanna', is this a new country?" I think I'll just let it go.
Until next time, and there will be a next time, happy news viewing. Remember, if you don't know the answers to life's puzzling questions, just call your local TV station. They will know the answer.
Friday, September 23, 2011
You were drunk and did what?
So, lady calls...wants our help because she has seen on TV where we help people...you know, "on your side". That is another station. I don't bother correcting people on that one anymore. That's a completely different blog on branding that I won't get into now. But, we are at strike 1 with the caller.
Her problem starts off relatively simple; "my husband, well ex-husband's lawyer came over to my house recently." She continues, "And I was at my neighbor's house playing bunko". This is where I know this one is going downhill...and fast. I'm already working on my "I'll see what we can do and call you back if we can do anything" speech. If you have to include bunko in your story then we aren't going to see eye-to-eye. Yes, we are at strike 2.
But she hits the fast forward button (I'm summarizing) and says the lawyer made her sign some paperwork and she didn't know what she was signing. She claims her name was never printed on it, but she signed it...they made her sign it. They made her sign it.
I had to ask; how did they "make you sign it?". Her response; "Well, they knew I was playing bunko!". I'm beginning to connect the dots, but I had to ask; "what does playing bunko have to do with making you sign paperwork?". "Because they knew I was drinking!!" she responds. I can only supply silence.
Strike 3.
She couldn't understand why I wouldn't do anything to help her. He took out a loan on the house under her name because she signed this paperwork. Trust me, I legitamely feel sorry for her. We've all done things when drinking that we regret. One time when I was drunk....oh, nevermind.
Back to our caller, I had to be fully honest with her and explain that I just couldn't see how we could go on TV with her story when her main defense was "I was playing bunko and they knew I would be drunk". I had to repeat to her why we couldn't help. I couldn't believe I had to repeat it.
I wanted to finish the conversation with some advice from Dean Vernon Wormer; "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life". But I thought my silence did it justice. She is going to call another station and maybe they will help. I hope she can "count on" another station.
Her problem starts off relatively simple; "my husband, well ex-husband's lawyer came over to my house recently." She continues, "And I was at my neighbor's house playing bunko". This is where I know this one is going downhill...and fast. I'm already working on my "I'll see what we can do and call you back if we can do anything" speech. If you have to include bunko in your story then we aren't going to see eye-to-eye. Yes, we are at strike 2.
But she hits the fast forward button (I'm summarizing) and says the lawyer made her sign some paperwork and she didn't know what she was signing. She claims her name was never printed on it, but she signed it...they made her sign it. They made her sign it.
I had to ask; how did they "make you sign it?". Her response; "Well, they knew I was playing bunko!". I'm beginning to connect the dots, but I had to ask; "what does playing bunko have to do with making you sign paperwork?". "Because they knew I was drinking!!" she responds. I can only supply silence.
Strike 3.
She couldn't understand why I wouldn't do anything to help her. He took out a loan on the house under her name because she signed this paperwork. Trust me, I legitamely feel sorry for her. We've all done things when drinking that we regret. One time when I was drunk....oh, nevermind.
Back to our caller, I had to be fully honest with her and explain that I just couldn't see how we could go on TV with her story when her main defense was "I was playing bunko and they knew I would be drunk". I had to repeat to her why we couldn't help. I couldn't believe I had to repeat it.
I wanted to finish the conversation with some advice from Dean Vernon Wormer; "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life". But I thought my silence did it justice. She is going to call another station and maybe they will help. I hope she can "count on" another station.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thank you for calling XYZ TV station, can I help you?
First off, thanks for taking the time to check out this site and welcome! I won't mention the TV station I work for in this blog but anyone who knows me knows where I work.
Essentially, I am on the assignment desk at a local TV news station and part of my job is to field calls and emails from our viewers. I'm not the only one at the station who does this so just look at this as a sampling of the calls.
But somewhere in there, we will find a story.
The title "our audience" comes from all the insane things people call and email TV stations for. In particular, local stations. They are, in part, "our audience". You won't believe it. It gives new meaning to the term random.
"Can you tell me what time it is?". Wait...you took the time to look up my phone number but you couldn't find out from any other source what time it was? OK, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt; the power went out and you were tired of seeing the blinking numbers so you decided to get out the phone book, close your eyes and call the lucky person who occupied the spot where your finger landed. Thanks, that part of my life is gone.
"Hey, this is Leroy, can you give me the name of that shampoo that has the drugs in it...that you have been talking about...that you get at the convenience stores?" I could only respond with; "what?" After a little more babble and with the help of a woman hollering in the background I was able to determine that he was referring to the synthetic drugs commonly called "Bath Salts". For some reason he thought it was shampoo with drugs. I wanted to respond with Pert Plus?
It was the woman in the background who said something about "K12" that tipped me off. I started to correct them by telling him it was K2 but by then the phone was well away from his ear as the two started to argue about something. I kid you not, this one came in while I was typing this entry.
Many more calls and emails come in on a daily basis and I decided why should this time only be wasted on me? Why not pass it on to those that are bored enough to read this? Plus, it might just become a form of therapy for me.
Please understand, these are just a small portion of our viewers.
Essentially, I am on the assignment desk at a local TV news station and part of my job is to field calls and emails from our viewers. I'm not the only one at the station who does this so just look at this as a sampling of the calls.
But somewhere in there, we will find a story.
The title "our audience" comes from all the insane things people call and email TV stations for. In particular, local stations. They are, in part, "our audience". You won't believe it. It gives new meaning to the term random.
"Can you tell me what time it is?". Wait...you took the time to look up my phone number but you couldn't find out from any other source what time it was? OK, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt; the power went out and you were tired of seeing the blinking numbers so you decided to get out the phone book, close your eyes and call the lucky person who occupied the spot where your finger landed. Thanks, that part of my life is gone.
"Hey, this is Leroy, can you give me the name of that shampoo that has the drugs in it...that you have been talking about...that you get at the convenience stores?" I could only respond with; "what?" After a little more babble and with the help of a woman hollering in the background I was able to determine that he was referring to the synthetic drugs commonly called "Bath Salts". For some reason he thought it was shampoo with drugs. I wanted to respond with Pert Plus?
It was the woman in the background who said something about "K12" that tipped me off. I started to correct them by telling him it was K2 but by then the phone was well away from his ear as the two started to argue about something. I kid you not, this one came in while I was typing this entry.
Many more calls and emails come in on a daily basis and I decided why should this time only be wasted on me? Why not pass it on to those that are bored enough to read this? Plus, it might just become a form of therapy for me.
Please understand, these are just a small portion of our viewers.
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